#(and i respect them deeply for it)
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bro fuck it im workposting. i did illustrations, i storyboarded, i directed. I did many cool things in 2024 and millions of people all over the world saw em. that has to count for something
#brawl stars#marcia#i dont workpost because i am deeply aware nobody here is here for brawl stars but on god i#i work and i create and its real#and there is a part of me thats ashamed because i know that brawls is not. like its not league of legends you know?#league of legends is something you post about#about the skin you helped create or sculpted#or the splash art you painted#its has that... value that is obvious even in the eyes of a person who has never played league#its a very mature visual language that historically calls for respect#meanwhile presenting brawl stars art feels like showing my anime girl oc to an art teacher#even mentioning an illust i created for a skin announcement for brawl stars feels so#so dollar store#so laughable#like noone would take me seriously#it feels like when you say you're an artist and then a person asks to see your art#and you show them and they get that soft soft look in their eyes that informs you that they had an image of who an “artist” is in their hea#and that you did not live up to it but all they'll say is 'oh thats nice'#bro help me im doing art elitism to myself#how can i simultaneously believe that art can be anything and yet only neoclassical realism has real value#i want to be creatively free yet all i do is fear the unimpressed looks of strangers
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Silt Verses protagonists // Returning Home
#the silt verses#hi just realized carpenter and faulkner's returning home episodes are both chapter 9 of s2 and 3 respectively#idk what to do with this info#anyway something that makes me deeply emotional about this#just the way all of them return to it#paige expecting to come home to an empty abandoned place. surprised to find what's there. seeing the land as unpredictable.#carpenter knowing of the ruin of her previous childhood home. haunted more by the people she left behind. finding no comfort in being back.#faulkner being optimistic. saying perhaps his home could be a temple one day. this is the safest place i could be he says#(and I can't help but think about faulkner leaving marks before he left his home. so that no one else could find a home there.)#(both paige and faulkner returning home when they have no where else to go)#hayward looking up at his old home fondly. there's nothing left for him there. nothing he can find that he doesn't already have.#let her have the lie of me he says.
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this too is yuri
#fellas is it gay to base your perfect cunty robot form on your narrative foil#and vague ominously about how much you respect her#anyway one of the great tradgedies of arcane only having two seasons is we never get to see them interact#girl where’s my toxic melvik arc the POTENTIAL#deep professional respect softened by time into an enduring fascination and tentative friendship slowly decayed by jealousy and conflict#mel always caring deeply for viktor and his well being but not lnowing how to express that or knowing if it was her place#viktor always admiring mel but too embittered and isolated to express#meeting again after never getting closure totally unrecognizable to everyone else but completely familiar to each other#sharing the burden of trying so so hardnto be good even when it’s hard even when you fail constantly#even when that means you can never speak again DO YOU SEE THE VISION?????#WE WERE ROBBED AUGH#also also the ideal melvik is NOT healthy and would fix NOTHING this is what took me sonlong to get on board dude#so much content about them is like ‘we’ll fix this with polyamory’ NO WE WON’T WE’LL RUIN IT WITH POLYAMORY AND THAT’S WHAT I WANT TO SEE#mel medarda#viktor arcane#melvik#mel x viktor#arcane#arcane league of legends
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"Why didn't Megan say anything about Howl's hair being pink when he came to visit?"
This is Howell Jenkins we're talking about, I'm absolutely sure he's been coming home with various hair colours since he was thirteen, I am assuring you this is the LEAST unusual thing about this situation for her.
#I would not be surprised If he actually came with BLUE hair once and deeply regretted it for the next week#before changing back to black#Megan TRIED to stop him cause it's not respectable and everything but she COULDN'T#she's absolutely used to him wearing different colours every two weeks#PINK HAIR is not weirder than like TWO ABSOLUTE STRANGERS he brought with them#one of who is a SMALL TEENAGER#Megan doesn't care about his hair anymore lmao there's more important things to talk about#hmc book#howl's moving castle book#hmc#howl's moving castle#howell jenkins#howl pendragon#sophie hatter#megan parry
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Gonna say something controversial.
Ford Pines is a nuanced character who is neither good nor bad. Absolving him of his crimes is actively a detriment to his character and does a disservice to the storytelling of Gravity Falls, but defining him exclusively by his mistakes without taking the time to understand him is a purposefully bad faith take that actively makes your enjoyment of the show worse.
He is neither a good or bad person, because "good" people and "bad" people aren't real. There's just people. And people fuck up sometimes.
If no one fucked up and if no one held onto those fuckups sometimes out of sheer desperation, the world of fiction would be way more boring, unengaging, and dull.
Ford Pines is a mess and I don't want him to be sanitized or demonized. I just want him to be a mess.
Thank you
#sorry someone keeps sending bad ford takes into a server i'm in and they're getting to me#he's a prideful and arrogant man and also deeply insecure and compensating for that with ego#he wants to be a good person and do the right thing while accepting influence from the worst people in his life because he respects them#he's placed his entire self worth on a pedistal because everyone else held him to that bar#and he'll never reach it because he keeps putting it up higher and higher before he even can#like he coulda published his research at any time but chose not to because he wanted to make a wave in science so big he couldn't be ignore#he felt like if he wasn't someone extraordinary then there was no point to him at all because he cannot be ordinary#it's either excel or be outcasted. and he was done being outcasted#so he used that to build himself up as compensation for that looming feeling#and as a result he tried to reach up as high as he could and took bad deals#bill made it clear; it's the hillbilly or me. he's going to betray you. and as soon as ford thought bill was right it was joever#bill manipulated him onto that train of thought but he ultimately made that call at Greasy's that night#that's the fun part! there's the nuance!!#ford wouldn't have acted that way without bill's influence but bill did not actively tell him to treat fidds like that#it's so interesting because it's so layered and intertwined. so many variables rely on each other to happen.#this is a good man pushed in the worst direction possible by a being who intends him harm and ford is nonethewiser until it's too late#idk why it's controversial to say that i like my ford messy but here we are. i like him messy. he's not an angel but he's not a demon eithe#he's a goddamn human and the show treats him like one#journal 3 and TBOB also support this. hell TBOB's entire *point* was to show how bill managed to manipulate him#and show the horrors that came after. then it showed us that ford has nothing to be ashamed of there. it's not his fault#no one in his family blames him or thinks he's stupid for falling for bill. why do some people think he is or think TBOB thinks he is?#i dont get it#dimond speaks
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has anyone ever talked about how javier named his horse a name from the bible (“boaz” is a hebrew name meaning “strength”/“in him (is) strength”. also like. a literal guy in the bible.) or am i just late to this party
#please. someone. think of the implications.#i guess that’s why everyone and their mother writes him to be chock full of Catholic Guilt#javier escuella and the religious trauma#i genuinely don’t know enough about the bible nor do i remember enough about being IN church (trauma) to actually say much more about this#i just found it incredibly interesting#plus in a way it’s very very sweet for him to name boaz basically a pillar of strength. it shows that he’s got a lot of respect and#gratitude for him 🥹 oh javi you sweet soul#there’s thoughts in my head but i’m too tired to put them into words 🥲💔 hell. anyway if anyone has any analysis posts on this PLEASE send#them to meeee please please plea i lov e when people who are more informed than me explain how javier is so deeply affected by a religion he#never once talks about#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#javier escuella#text#hero's talking to himself again
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crazy that el*n m*sk is so desperate to be liked and considered cool and he could easily up his goodwill by just donating so much money to la fire gofundmes or literally anything anywhere but he would never do that bc he is just straight up evil.
he truly has the power to change the world for the better and simply wont bc hes an evil racist misogynist piece of shit loser who can try to pretend hes above everything but he literally hosted snl bc he wants people to think he is funny and cool. and he is not and never will be.
#to have the money to buy twitter and completely change the course of govts nationwide#instead of ending world hunger#or make sure every human is housed#which he could literally do#is insane#tax the rich my godddddd#also eat them#elon musk#tagging in case people have him muted#which i respect deeply
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not only do i not think lynne would ever under any circumstances call or even just think of cabanela as her dad, if that possibility ever came up in conversation i think cabanela would straight up kill himself
#I'm so sorry i know why people jump to that interpretation#only so many ways you can read a middle aged guy calling a 20 something he knew as a little girl ''my baby'' that doesn't give you hives#but i have played the aa games. i am familiar with other takumi characters. so i am retaining my right to chuck shoes at his head#there is a pattern in all her male colleagues being both infantilizing condescending and weirdly parasocial about lynne.#WHILE STILL having the undertones of a romantic interest. and i just don't think cabanela breaks away from that mold#in a sense I'm glad there's enough plausible deniability to pretend it's not happening. or that he's just a very gay man#(who is still deeply condescending and infantilising but we digress)#but a lot of what drives me to cabanela is the ways in which the game didn't allow him to be treated as a morally grey character#and that definitely fits under that category. TO ME!! there's something deeply compelling about someone who cares about another person#genuinely cares! but still deep down doesn't see them as a whole person. or respect them as a peer#jowd's shadow looming over them—cabanela's rapport with her forever weighted on one side by her role as a proxy for his loyalty towards him#lots of juicy stuff there!#ghost trick
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cons of playing old video games:
no fandom
visuals that aged poorly
pros of playing old video games:
no fandom
visuals that aged poorly
cheap as hell
#to everyone's shitty polygons that aged like milk i love you#PS i know 'no fandom' is untrue and for every piece of art there is a nerd in a cave writing essays and making art and having convos abt it#(and i respect them deeply for it)#i simplified it for impact ok. im jokesing.#chatterbones#video games#gaming#pc games#gaming humor#aough that tag is not hypoallergenic
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“The Encounter” by Louise Glück
From The Triumph of Achilles (1985)
#succession#kenrome#kendall roy#roman roy#web weaving#poetry#finale#louise glück#The Hug . *crowd errupts*#i can talk about this scene forever and ever and ever#its so deeply packed#for both of them#it probably felt so relieving#they both needed it for their respective reasons#kendall needed that power#and roman needed his cage#where its scary and lonely but safe#in a way this is their purest form of love
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Something that is sad but also that I hugely appreciate about CK is that by the end, most of the systems that harmed the crows are still in place, but their relationships with themselves have grown and changed. I find this particularly interesting in the cases of Jesper and Wylan (shocking I know). Their identities still put them in danger of being exploited or harmed - Grisha indentures are still the norm in Kerch, and the auction scene made it very clear that if the Council knew Wylan's illiteracy was true, they would treat him much the same as his father did due to the culture surrounding productivity and ability. This might seem disheartening, but the hope lies in the shift in how these characters see themselves and their role in the world. By the end of the book, Jesper and Wylan are beginning to put away their internalized shame surrounding their identities. They may still have to hide who they are from the world to survive, but they're no longer hiding it from themselves - their true selves are no longer this crushing burden they have to turn away from to function. A general theme of the series is how, in accepting who they are and what has happened to them on a personal level, the crows place themselves in positions to make change on a systemic level - Inej and her ship, Nina and her mission, Kaz and his Barrel empire, Wylan and Jesper with their political, high-society empire. None of them are all the way there yet by the end - they're still healing, and both the loss of Matthias and the weight of those oppressive systems are going to weigh on them for a long time - but we get to see the very beginnings of that process. I'm going to bite someone.
#that being said. they need so much therapy. that sort of deeply internalized shame doesn't go away after a heist or two#it is kinda heartening u know bc i get real down about how immovable systems seem#and even after something good happens in that regard on an individual level it doesn't seem to get any better#it's ok. what is change but a bunch of people doing better together#this is why i dont want soc3. this is a great stopping point thematically and in that respect i dont need or want to see more#let them exist in this place in my mind. on the brink of things getting better#anyway jan van eck die one million billion times#jesper fahey#wylan van eck#inej ghafa#nina zenik#kaz brekker#matthias helvar#six of crows#soc#tgt#soc meta#OUGHAHGAHGOUAGH
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Again the sickness speaking but here's something that has been going through my mind since forever:
I feel like a good way to mitigate a lot of discontent with the doa arc ending and in general the whole Dazai-being-flawless issue bsd has going on is by comparing bsd to Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle. Please bear with me for two minutes.
When Sherlock Holmes was being published, people were intrigued and enamoured by Holmes' brilliant and charming, crimes-solving figure. People read the stories for the pure joy of being left gaping at his superhuman wits again and again; they didn't want to see him fail, they wanted to be shocked and amazed by his genius. When Holmes died and then came back, nobody lamented it being unrealistic, because realism was not what people were reading the books for! They were reading to be impressed, to cheer for the hero and then take satisfaction in seeing him turn out victorious. That's the author-reader deal that was made there: to impress and to enjoy being impressed.
As of recently I feel like we've been asking from bsd something it never promised us in the first place. Maybe it's just not that kind of series! Maybe it's more about surprising the reader with how the hero is going to make it and less about highlighting his flaws and insecurities. And like, that's okay! That's why Dazai getting away with it isn't it him getting away with it “again”, it's just how bsd is; in a way, it's what makes bsd bsd.
I think it really clicked with me like it never did before when I watched the last episode of season 5; because the arc ending felt so shocking and unpredictable, very deus-ex-machina trope, a little underwhelming in its lowering the stakes that were there the whole time, and yet so extremely on brand with bsd, I didn't even have it in me to be disappointed. It was so similar to the Guild's arc ending and even more to the Cannibalism arc ending, and maybe it really is just a pattern, maybe it really is what bsd aspires to be, and that's okay too.
Also, I can't stretch this enough: if it's not your cup of tea, that's fine. I can't say it's mine either. But I feel like criticizing bsd now for how it's always been falls quite short, because it really feels like demanding from it what it never promised to deliver in the first place. That's just as far as my current perception of the series goes, though, so feel free to disagree with me on this.
#Btw this is not me comparing Holmes character with Dazai character.#Holmes character is something Dazai character will never be (respectful of women)#The also real difference between Holmes and Dazai is that one author loathes the character with everything that's in them–#and the other author loves the character with everything that's in them#I've also briefly mentioned before that Atsushi is a very Watson-like figure in the way it uses as someone deeply human‚#sympathetic to the reader and that the reader can see themselves in‚#plot device so that Holmes has someone he can explain his deduction to and with his awe further underlines and uplifts Holmes' genius#Also sassy#osamu dazai#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd s5#Wow and here's me putting my season 5 thoughts down after three months. Took a raging fever for me to do so#To be fair when the episode dropped everyone was a bit crazy over the ending for one reason or the other#So back then I felt like waiting things to chill out first#mine#I often find superfluous to end posts with “feel free to disagree with me on this” because it's so obvious and expected it goes unsaid#But I suppose sometimes it bears repeating...
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There is just something so endearing about guys who are dorks. They're just funky little dudes and I love them for that.
#i once saw this very studious and respectable dude absolutely break it down during the cha cha slide#it was the best thing i ever saw#like “go white boi go”#i want to kiss them all on the forehead and tell them that I cherish them deeply
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The number of times Rachel or Mike compare their relationship to Mike and Harvey’s or Rachel talks about Mike and Harvey fucking is ???? Like what do you MEAN “I’m just talking to you like Harvey talks to me”, “Harvey doesn’t have sex with Mike” etc etc??? They’re so WEIRD!! /pos
!! NO SPOILERS IM ON SEASON 5 !!
#every time rachel is standing in the background like a sexy lamp watching mike and harvey doing their thing she’s actually just fujoing out#and i deeply respect that#i need rachel to challengers them so bad omg#suits tv#rachel zane#mike ross#harvey specter
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i am begging people who keep pushing the wriothesley is a father figure to the melusines/sigewinne agenda to read his lore. begging. he's not a father figure, in fact, he's like their borrowed grandkid. the melusines adopted him, not the other way around!!!
#after neuvillette's story quest and neuvillette himself being vocal about not introducing the melusines in human society out of pity but#because they're capable and letting them prove their value why would you choose to babify them??#they're old and they're very independent#they're like tiny grandmas#maybe i'm being petty but am i really??? 😭#i just think it's stupid that there's so much focus in not infantilising them for sigewinne to be made wriolette's kid in every piece of#fan content for commodity#she's not a baby she's the head nurse she's incredibly capable and she took care of wriothesley since he was a teen in the fortress#he just deeply respects them and retributes the kindness that probably saved his life now that he has means to do so#if anything they're friends really#their relationship is also so much nicer and more meaningful this way without any sort of power imbalance#i wish people could appreciate that too#anyways sorry for being petty on main#also sorry for posting about wriothesley again shsjshs
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Sparkstember Day 11: Angst In My Pants (The Decline And Fall Of Me)
Album two of two in the series of Sparks' immaculate new wave releases! Iconic in every way imaginable from the music to the artwork to ONE music video. I think it's more musically (and lyrically!) varied and mature in tone (besides... a couple exceptions. Yes, an album called Angst In My Pants) than its predecessor, which is a very good development. These songs will leave you chuckling and bopping along and also pondering the intricacies of human existence. Ok, maybe that's a bit of a stretch, but it can't be denied that behind much of the earnestness and theatricality here, there's lots of quite emotional, introspective and thought-provoking stuff to be found.
Thematically, this album goes everywhere. One moment we are in Sextown U.S.A, the next we're visiting Disneyland, California where we make friends among people and animals. On a more serious note though, I think the biggest emotional whiplash one could experience between different songs on an album is between Mickey Mouse and Sherlock Holmes. And yet there's still a very prominent element of humour, even in those songs that are on the more serious or dramatic end of the scale.
I said a few days ago that I'd try to return to the topic of Sparks' brand of humour and how it works, but I don't feel intelligent enough to analyse that today. And I'm pretty sure that from what I've seen, Other People And The Maels Themselves (Said It Better Than Me). So instead, as a little send-off, please remember: if a mouse can be special, well, SO CAN YOU!!! 🫵
Favourite songs (and other highlights):
Angst In My Pants: literally no other song like this one in this world. I can't tell why that is but it's just. So great
I Predict: I had a weird kind of effect where I heard this song in my early days of Sparking and it felt VEEERY familiar to me. I think it was due to the genre / style here, it reminded me of something specific, at first I thought it was very glam rock but I'm pretty sure that this is not it but something else (and I don't know what to call it in that case!). Anyway, banger song
Tarzan And Jane: whoa wait, am I already skipping to the third-to-last song on the tracklist?? I guess I am. This one's great and one of my early favs too (I wonder how long it will take until I run out of things to say about my fav songs and it all just becomes this list of 'it's very good and I like it a lot. next.')
The Decline And Fall Of Me: it's great!! I like it!! And, of course, "check out my pizzas"
Eaten By The Monster Of Love: personal reasons that lead to a printed and framed mini-comic of my making appearing on my desk, which features some of the lyrics of this song, which caused me to have it permanently stuck in my head for a pretty long period of time. And this way I ended up liking it much much more than I did in the beginning, when it still seemed somehow pretty unremarkable to me
#i probably should have been putting these under a read more from the start. welp.#not very happy with this post idk really what my vision here was. but if i try to rewrite it i will start progressively losing my mind#so please accept this mess today. ability to articulate my thoughts died a final death i think#i hope that the tone of a Slightly Annoying Music Reviewer Who Tries to Appear Smart Yet Cool#that i accidentally put on here. is at least somewhat enjoyable#i think that someone who actually loves angst might be a better person to talk about why it's so good#i like it a lot but in a more 'acknowledging its brillance and respecting that deeply' way#nothing negative to say about it! it's just not a personal favourite. and yet i still find it so great on some fundamental level#oh and credit to @carcarrot for the idea of how a collection of frozen pizzas could be displayed hehehe#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues#edit: ok i guess tumblr decided that it'll just post scheduled posts instead of saving them when i edit them#so have an early post in that case (i already had to delete it and make it again bcs of this yesterday ugh)
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